yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
