Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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