Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
