first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
