Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my shit smells like andre
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
