Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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