It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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