This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
