Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
