I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
