just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
