I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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