I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
