im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
