Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
