Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
