I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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