Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
