How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
