I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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