he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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