don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
either way he was missing a nipple.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
