So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
should my penis look like a turkey
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
