I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
