You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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