bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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