I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
