and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
