I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
