Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
