I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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