The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
