Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
