dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
