I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
