I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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