That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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