Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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