I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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