yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
