you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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