I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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