Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
