the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
