walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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