So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
