): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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