What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
