I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
