I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
